


lay us down, we're in love

by cjmasim



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Bisexual Character, Coming Out, Dallas Stars, Gay Character, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 10:16:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4344644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjmasim/pseuds/cjmasim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jamie Benn never thought he would fall for Tyler Seguin, the life of the party with too many secrets, of all people. Not that he'll ever know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	lay us down, we're in love

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a little late to the Tyler Seguin trade party, but this had been sitting on my computer half-finished for way too long, so here it is. The title comes from The End of All Things by Panic! at the Disco, which is a beautiful song. 
> 
> Also, keep in mind that this is fiction. The characters in this story are fictional versions of real people, not the people themselves.

To Jamie Benn, offseason was tough. It had been years since the Dallas Stars had made the playoffs, and he burned with envy watching his fellow players skating into the late spring with a fiery passion exploding from every shot and block and save that could not ever be duplicated. But hockey was his greatest passion; it would be a crime to deny himself the thrill of watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs. 

Of course, when there wasn’t a game to watch, Jamie found himself with painfully little on his schedule. He resorted to following the playoffs like some kind of superfan; he watched NHL Network every day and read every game preview and injury speculation article he came across. The playoffs of 2013 did not suffer from a lack of a good story. First of all, there was the fact that it was happening, that despite the lockout, the season still began and the playoffs still followed. Then there was the Bruins’ shocking comeback in game 7 against Toronto. Finally, the matchup for the Stanley Cup Final created lots of intrigue, due to the original six matchup and the fact that one recent champion, either the Bruins or the Blackhawks, would be winning their second championship of the decade.

Suffice to say, Jamie was enthralled as he had been each and every season since his early childhood.

One of the most puzzling stories, he found, was that of Tyler Seguin. The young star had lit the lamp sixteen times in the lockout-shortened season, no small feat, yet the playoffs saw him score just a single goal. Theories of what could have caused his scoring drought flooded the Internet, ranging from his excessive partying to a simple lack of talent, which Jamie found absolutely preposterous. Every player experiences a drought every now and then, and he pitied Seguin for having his during the playoffs.

~

When he found out about the trade, it was from Jordie texting him. 

_hey did u hear abt the trade_

_what trade?_

_its huge, look at the internet_

_k_

It didn’t even take a minute for Jamie to find it. The headline “Tyler Seguin to Dallas, Loui Eriksson to Boston, and More in Huge Blockbuster Trade” jumped out at him, and he couldn’t believe his eyes. He was sad to see Loui go. Tyler Seguin was, without a doubt, one of the greatest players in the league. Yet Jamie couldn't help but to feel apprehensive about his off-ice activities. He was known as a party animal, and all Jamie could do for now was hope that he could keep it under control for the sake of the team. Still, Jamie could hardly contain his excitement about the future that awaited his team now that they had such a promising player on their roster. Maybe this would be the year they made the playoffs at last.

~

Tyler seemed nervous at first, and it took about two weeks for him to truly warm up to Jamie. When he did, Jamie realized just how wrong the media had been. Tyler loved to party, sure, but he was so much more than that. He had a knack for knowing when someone needed to be cheered up, and he had an endless supply of cute dog pictures and lame jokes that could brighten anyone’s day. He laughed at everything, but it was never a laugh of scorn, and when he did, the sound was one of such pure joy that Jamie couldn’t help but to feel that he was well and truly fucked. He was developing a crush on Tyler Seguin, a heterosexual ladies’ man with the body of a supermodel. Tyler Seguin, his linemate. Tyler Seguin, his best friend.

Jamie hadn’t crushed on anybody since he was in the AHL, and not needing to worry about teammates finding out about his little gay thing had made adjusting to the NHL so much easier. Jordie didn’t even know, not because Jamie didn’t trust him, but because he was still trying so desperately to mask his feelings and to forget that he was even gay that he couldn’t even tell the one person in the world he trusted more than anyone. 

It would be a challenge to remain friends with Tyler without him ever finding out, but Jamie was a dedicated hockey player and captain, and he was up for any challenge, no matter how daunting. 

~

It was a late September night during the preseason when Tyler first mentioned his scoring drought.

“I was so angry at first, you know? I was angry at myself for failing the team, like I had no trouble scoring all season but then I had to mess up in the playoffs. And I was angry at the team when I was traded. I know I was wrong, but I just couldn’t help it, they gave up on me so fast, you know?”

“Yeah, I know, but everyone has scoring droughts. It’s Boston’s loss, really,” Jamie reassured him.

“Thanks. You’re totally right. When I was on the plane to Dallas, I had some time to think, and I realized that I had a second chance. Here in Dallas, I can redeem myself, you know?”

“Oh, absolutely. I think we make great linemates.”

Tyler smiled his award-winning smile and said “We’re going to be the best lineys ever.”

A mix of giddiness and dejection clouded his mind, but Jamie ignored it.

~

It was nearly a month later that Tyler once again opened up to Jamie.

“I’ve never told anyone this, but I figure you’re my captain so you have a right to know. Just swear you’ll never tell a soul?”

Jamie promised, genuinely curious. His mind supplied a few unhelpful theories, but he was not going to think about them, because Tyler was straight.

“Okay. Well, there was a reason for my scoring drought back in Boston. Yeah, I was having problems in my personal life, but it was nothing to do with partying or whatever. The truth is that Brad Marchand, he was my best friend, and he… he confessed his love for me. Like, full homo. The day before the playoffs. And I just couldn’t deal with it, I guess. I mean, I tried to be his friend but it was just too hard, I don’t have a problem with him being gay but I’m not attracted to him.”

Jamie’s mind was a mess, but he managed to remain calm and reply “I guess that makes sense. It would be hard to deal with your linemate loving you and all. It sounds like you did the right thing though.”

Tyler visibly relaxed, and it was a minute before he said softly “I’ve tried not to blame him, you know? I mean, he couldn’t help falling in love, you never can. It was just horrible timing, but I shouldn’t have let it get to me so much.”

“I know what you mean. Hey, at least you know it probably won’t happen again.” He said this to reassure him, but Jamie had to swallow the guilt and shame that ensued. It wasn’t exactly a lie; Tyler would never know of Jamie’s affections.

“That’s true, so nothing like that should affect my game ever again. You won’t tell anyone, right?”

“Of course not.”

He would never, ever be able to tell him.

~

The knowledge that another player in the NHL was gay opened a floodgate in Jamie. He spent the next week silently suffocating in memories of midnight stargazing and shitty love poems and stolen kisses before he finally decided that he couldn’t hide it any longer. He was a homosexual hockey player, and if anyone had a problem with it, well, too bad. He was twenty-four years old and he couldn’t stand to hide himself for another day. 

~

He told Jordie almost immediately after making the decision to come out. After all, he was Jamie’s brother, and he trusted him more than anyone. 

After they arrived home from practice, Jamie cleared his throat and said “Jordie, can I talk to you?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I’m… you might want to sit down.” They both sat on the couch, Jordie shooting him a look of concern. “Okay. I’ve been hiding this for… since high school, actually. So. I’ll get right to it. I’m gay.”

Jordie chuckled slightly, before saying “So that’s why you haven’t been with a single girl in years. Well, that’s totally cool, you know. Your sexuality doesn’t change how I feel about you, Jamie.”

Jamie felt a feeling of relief wash over him, and he took a deep breath before thanking him. 

“No problem.” They sat in companionable silence for a moment before Jordie spoke again. “Does anyone else know?”

“No, you’re the first person I told. I’m telling Mom and Dad next, and I guess Tyler after them.”

“Mom and Dad will be fine with it, and Tyler should be. If not, I’ll break his nose for you.”

“Thanks Jordie, really.”

~

He told his parents that night over the phone, not wanting to wait any longer. They were almost overwhelmingly supportive, and his mother asked him if he was sharing this because of a certain guy. Jamie denied it, but she didn’t sound convinced. How did mothers know everything, anyway?

After hanging up with his parents, Jamie decided to go to bed. Now that his family knew, that left Tyler as the most obvious person to tell next. He was worried, and he wasn’t even quite sure why. Tyler made it clear when he shared his story about Marchand that he had no problem with his being gay, so why would it matter that Jamie was as well?

It wasn’t as if he was going to share anything about his big gay crush on him.

~

It had been two weeks since Jamie had come out to his family when he finally mustered the courage to tell Tyler. He invited him over to hang out and maybe drink a few beers after practice one day, and he told himself he was ready, and he could do this. 

His plans were changed when Tyler greeted him with “I have something to tell you.”

He was not smiling, and Jamie immediately let him in with a hurried “Of course, I was actually going to tell you something, but you can go first. What’s up?”

They both sat down, and Tyler took a deep breath. “Can you promise not to tell anyone? Man, I sound like I have a ton of secrets, but I swear, it’s not like that.”

“Sure, of course. If it’s private, it’s private, and that’s fine. What is it?” Jamie tried not to let his mind wander, and Tyler paused and visibly swallowed before speaking. 

“I haven’t told anyone this before, but I think I can trust you. About the whole thing with Marchand, part of the reason I felt so guilty is because I’m actually… I’m bisexual.”

Jamie blinked. He had to be hearing things. Tyler’s face was scarlet, and he wasn’t making eye contact. Shit. This was real. “I… that’s cool, really. I totally support you, dude.”

He heard the breath Tyler let out, and a smile bright enough to light the whole city erupted onto his face. It was this smile that Jamie had fallen in love with, and he couldn’t help but to stare as Tyler said “Thank you, thank you so much, bro, I literally haven’t ever told anyone, and I just, I feel so much better now, you know?”

“Yeah, totally. I know exactly how you feel. Um, actually-“

“Oh yeah! Sorry, you were going to tell me something too, right?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jamie breathed in, waited, and breathed out. “Um. I’m kind of gay.”

Tyler raised an eyebrow at this. “Kind of gay, or actually gay?”

“Wha- actually gay. I had been suppressing it for so long, but when you told me about the whole thing with Marchand, really, it just made everything come crashing down, you know? And I already told my family, so I figured you were next, and I- I’m rambling, sorry.”

“You know I’m cool with it, right? I’d kinda be a hypocrite otherwise.” Tyler smiled slightly at this.

“Thank you man, really.”

They sat in silence for a minute before Tyler burst out laughing. Jamie was startled at first, but when he thought about the absurdity of their situation, he couldn’t help but to join in.

“I can’t believe it!” Tyler choked out between laughs. “We just came out to each other at the same time!”

“Who even does that?” Jamie added.

They sat there laughing hysterically together for a few minutes before finally calming down. Jamie was the first to speak.

“That was certainly different. So why don’t we go ahead and start on that beer?”

~

The regular season was better than Jamie had ever imagined. They were winning games left and right; they even had a good chance of making the playoffs. He and Tyler had unbelievable chemistry together, both on and off the ice. They were the best of friends, and Jordie always had questions about the true nature of their relationship. Jamie adamantly denied every lighthearted accusation his brother threw at him, but he knew that Jordie was right.

Hockey was going well, and everyone that mattered had accepted his sexuality. But life wasn’t perfect, because he still harbored the terrifying secret of crushing on his linemate. During the day, he hid it easily, and laughed and joked with Tyler like they were nothing more than friends, because they weren’t. At night, it wasn’t so easy. Thoughts of Tyler’s rejection of Marchand plagued his mind, and Jamie could not help but to hate himself a little for falling for the worst possible person. Just because Tyler liked boys didn’t mean he liked Jamie.

He was going to take that secret to the grave with him. Even if he never moved on, he would force himself to date other guys, to lead a life with Tyler as nothing more than his best friend. Jamie would continue to repress his true feelings like he had done since high school. He would never tell a soul, and maybe it would kill him inside, maybe he would never truly feel free, but to keep Tyler in his life, it was worth it.

~

Jamie never would have seen it coming.

A few days after they were eliminated from the playoffs, Tyler showed up at his apartment with absolutely no warning. His face bore an expression of unsuccessfully disguised terror, and Jamie was quick to let him in.

“Is something wrong?”

Jamie could have sworn he heard a mumbled “you can do this” from Tyler. 

“I figure now is the best possible time to tell you. Because if you hate me, I can go somewhere else, and I won’t bother you ever again. I just can’t keep it in any longer.”

After a long moment of quiet, Jamie spoke up. “Tyler, what is it?”

“I like you,” he blurted out, and his face quickly turned a shade of red reminiscent of the sports car parked outside. “Not platonically. Like, I actually feel romantically attracted to you.”

Jamie could do nothing but stare, and he tried to form words, but all he could do was attempt to process Tyler’s words with the string of _what is this, is this real, it can’t be, holy shit_ running through his mind.

Tyler looked at the ground and said “I’m sorry. I’ll just-“ 

“Are you… you’re not kidding, are you?” Jamie asked in a small voice.

“What? No, why would I even—I would never make this up. I know it’s wrong to be attracted to my linemate, but-“

Jamie interrupted him again, finally able to articulate the feelings that had plagued him for so many months. “Tyler. I like you too. I’ve been hiding it all this time and I was never going to tell you but, I’m attracted to you too.”

“Seriously? No way.”

“I’m completely serious.” Jamie was smiling now, beginning to truly believe that this was real.

Tyler smiled too, with the force of a million shining suns, and said “Wow. This is just… wow. Can I kiss you?”

“I—yeah, I would like that.”

Tyler moved to sit closer to him, and Jamie turned his head toward him. Tyler moved in slowly, closing his eyes once they were close, and Jamie did the same. There were no sparks or fireworks like in the movies. It was better. Kissing Tyler felt like scoring the game-winning goal in sudden death overtime. Kissing Tyler felt like looking up at the crowd and feeling a sense of belonging. Kissing Tyler felt like everything in his life coming together and making Jamie pull apart for air with a smile on his face brighter than a thousand suns.

Somehow, Jamie had ended up a star NHL player with the man he loved returning his affections. He couldn’t begin to imagine what he had done to deserve such a life, but he chose not to question it as he leaned in to kiss Tyler again.


End file.
